Those Who Matter
by Vanillasiren
Summary: Agravaine's thoughts on the most influential people in his life.


Those Who Matter

Summary: Agravaine's thoughts on the most influential people in his life.

Author's Note: A binge-watch of Season 4 left me incredibly frustrated with this character. He could have been engaging, complex, even tragic … but he was on for an entire season and he got virtually no depth, and even less perspective (then again, you could say the same thing about Morgana after season 2). This is my attempt to remedy the situation. Feel free to tell me if I've succeeded (or failed).

Part One: Ygraine

His sister was an angel.

It seems silly to still think of her this way, especially now. He is no longer a child, and so far from innocence that sometime it makes him feel sick.

And yet, it is the only word he knows to accurately describe his Ygraine. Her golden hair and her warm eyes and her kind smile – these are the first things he can remember. It was her arms that cradled him, her voice that sang him to sleep, her presence that lit up his world.

Agravaine was the third and the last of his parent's children. His father died in battle before he was born, and his mother died on the birthing bed. When he tries to picture what she looked like, the woman who bore him – who died because of him – his sister's face is all he can see. Ygraine was twelve years his senior, and she was mother and sister and best friend all rolled into one. She was gracious and kind and loving and clever and _far_ too good for Uther Pendragon, but he didn't even care, because she deserved to be a queen (an angel!) and she seemed so very happy, at least in the beginning

When she died, she took the best part of him with her.

Part Two: Tristan du Bois

His brother was a Phoenix.

Tristan was the oldest of his parent's children, fifteen years Agravaine's senior. He was strong and brave and just a little bit frightening in his abilities as a fighter, always seeming to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, always rising from the ashes of battle, fiercer and faster than before. He had been in awe of Tristan all his life.

True, he had never been as close with him as he'd been with Ygraine – no one could be as dear as her – but if his sister mothered him, coddled him, then it was Tristan who taught him and toughened him up. It was because of Tristan that he learned to ride, to hunt, to wield a sword, and it was Tristan whom he strove not to disappoint. He idolized his brother, worshipped him so much that he hardly even minded living in his shadow.

With Ygraine dead and Uther to blame, Tristan went off to avenge their beloved sister. Before he left, they spoke together. It was the last conversation they ever had. So many years later, his brother's words are still seared into his mind.

"Brother … if I don't come back –"

"Of course you'll come back!"

It was absolutely inconceivable that Tristan could lose. Yes, Uther was a fierce warrior, and having been Tristan's friend, would know his brother's fighting style all too well … but still. It was _Tristan_. He was a Phoenix. He did not lose.

"Shut up and listen. If I don't come back, I want you to promise –"

"You're coming back, Tristan. But if it makes you feel better, I promise to take your place should the impossible happen. I will challenge Uther myself, I'll –"

"You will do no such thing," Tristan snapped. "You're no match for him." Seeing his brother's anguished expression, his face softened. "Oh Agravaine, don't … I didn't mean it like that. You're a skilled fighter, and I'm proud of you, but Uther has years of battle experience on his side. If I fail, you must promise me … that you will live. That you will not provoke Uther. You will be the last of our family, all this is left, and you must go on."

"And let Uther continue to draw breath? After what he did to our sister? Brother, you know I obey you in all things, but I cannot stand for –"

"Enough! Listen to me. I don't mean you to give up the quest for vengeance. I just mean … you may have to go about it a different way. If I fall, you _must_ convince Uther that you are his friend. Lull him into a false sense of security. It may take time, a long time. Years even. But I know you, brother. You are shrewd, and you are patient. When he trusts you … find a way to strike. Find a way to kill him. Find a way to make him pay."

Tristan's eyes were intense, and his grip on Agravaine's arm was tight enough to bruise.

"Promise me?"

Agravaine swallowed. "Of course Tristan. I swear it on my life. But … but it doesn't matter, because you're going to kill him. You're coming back."

Tristan smiled at him. "I hope so. Goodbye, brother."

He strode out the door, jaunty in his battle armor, impressive, majestic even, larger than life.

Tristan never came home. And although twenty-one years later, with the help of the sorceress Nimueh, Agravaine managed to have his brother rise from the ashes one last time, in the end Uther somehow defeated him once more. Tristan returned to the world of the dead, and Ygraine went unavenged.

It was like losing them both all over again.

*Up Next: Uther and Arthur*

Please review!


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